Apr 3, 2013

Questions about Friendship

Ahhh Friendships.

I have been thinking about friendships lately. The different kinds, and the needs that are met by those.
I know many ladies that have really close friends. They seem almost attached at the hip.
I don't have that kind of friendship. Not sure if I just haven't met that person, or that I haven't really looked. 
I had some good friends while growing up, but I don't recall feeling incredibly close with any one in particular. Nobody that I felt knew me more than I knew myself.

After getting married and moving 4 hours away from where I grew up I really felt alone. My husband and I knew nobody. I think back now and know that this is why we are as close as we are now. When asked who my oldest and dearest friend is, I would have to answer....my husband.

I started working here in Calgary and thought this is were I would meet some girlfriends. 
Most of the women I worked with were older and not really interested in making new friends. I did make one good friend and have kept in contact with her even though she has moved across the country.
But really both my husband and I agreed that once we started a family we would meet more people. People who we would have things in common with.

I stop here to wonder....is it like this for others?

It is true. I did meet many other Moms after having babies. The first group I met during the labor prep class that I took with my first. Of that first group I made a few new friends. Today I have a wonderful music buddy out of that group. The others have moved away....or moved on.

It seems that is the way of grown up friendships. Moving on and moving away. Are these best friend friendships ones from childhood? or made as we become grownups?
Am I an oddity that I just don't develop that kind of connection to people?
Does this come from being an introvert?

The friendships that I have made since having my kiddos have been wonderful. Lots of great memories made on mountain retreats and dinners out.
It seems though as of late that these too are becoming harder to hold on to.
Are we destined to grow apart? It used to be easy to gather a group together. But things change.
I am also starting up friendships with lovely people oceans away. I hope to travel to see them.
I wonder what the next stage of friendships will look like.
Maybe the lesson to be learned here is that I need to focus more on me.
At the end of this rambling I have discovered that the one friend who knows me best, knows the good the bad and the ugly is my husband. I hear you....all those groaning out there.

I would love to hear what you all have to say on the matter.


  1. I can relate to a lot of what you have said in this post. I don't have really close women friends... and I don't crave that kind of closeness. Like you, I have 'met' lovely people online and some IRL after and haven't been disappointed in those friendships. I find generally that people today are more reclusive and sort-of self-absorbed and I think social media as well as Internet have a lot to do with that. And you are definitely not alone...

    1. Thanks Gita. You are right. The good thing though about social media is that I am able to still be connected to those who are not close.

  2. Jennifer, I am proud to call you my friend. It's wonderful that you're husband is your best friend. Maybe you've never found that one woman to be your closest friend because you haven't need to look. You are an oddity - that is what makes you interesting. Then again, aren't we all a bit off?

    1. Thanks Dana. We are a little odd aren't we... ;o)